all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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