maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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