Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
