imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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