I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
