I only kidnapped one of them. chill
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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