It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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