Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
