I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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