it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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