he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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