im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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