He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
