When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
