my mouth tastes like poor choices
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.