dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?