he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
