Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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