I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
