butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize