A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
