sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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