friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
