The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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