you have to choose: penises or morals?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
