I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize
