puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
