I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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