The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
