You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
