Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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