Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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