can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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