Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
