I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
