Betty ford says i'm here all night
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
