Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
