he wants to bone in the snuggie
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Im part way to drunk.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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