life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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