well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
