It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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