There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
