ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
