I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
