we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
