fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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