You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize