yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
