belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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