I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
