There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
