oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Boobs are out for the taking
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
