I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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