it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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