does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Randomize
