Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i wish my penis had a tongue
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
