just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
