I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
