hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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