i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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