i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
