If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
