he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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