I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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