I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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