Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
