hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i barfeds in our rink
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
