I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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