Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
